How words like "motivation" and "discipline" can ruin your dog training journey.

As a neurodivergent girly, I have spent most of my life lacking "motivation" and "discipline" in most aspects of my life. The gym, eating "healthy", schooling, learning a new language, playing instruments, playing sports, and the list goes on and on. We don't always realize how detrimental mental health issues are, even when they are actively affecting us. This week, I want to talk about how this relates to staying consistent in dog training.

As a dog trainer and dog owner, I understand the struggle of staying consistent with training. Waking up day after day with a never ending to-do list when all you want is some time alone to relax and not feel guilty about it. Instead, we attempt to check off task and all of the sudden there it is: "train fido". If you're anything like me, it's now a demand and it makes me not want to do it. When situations like this occur, it can feel daunting and hopeless. As if you're never going to "fix" your dog's behaviors or be able to take them out and about without constant barking and lunging. I'm here to tell you, that it's not hopeless. That everything you thought you couldn't do, is actually achievable. It's all about actively changing your mindset. There is nothing to "fix" about your dog. They just don't know any better because they haven't been taught.

Any time you cant yourself using certain words that tend to hinder your progress, actively stop yourself and switch it out with a better word. For me, I stopped using words like motivation and discipline when it comes to training my dog. Motivation is finite and comes and goes like the wind. Discipline on the other hand sounds too demanding and harsh: "you have to have discipline when you do x, y, z in order to see results". Now I'm not saying these words are bad and don't help people stick to their goals and stay consistent because they absolutely do. I'm saying they never worked for me and I had to find new ways and words that better help me achieve my goals.

Any time I am lacking motivation to train my dog, I remind myself why I started a certain training to begin with. For example, my dog absolutely loves jumping up, as do most other dogs. Now, He's not the biggest boy, he's only about 45 pounds, but his nails HURT. They aren't sharp and always trimmed down. The problem is he started jumping on guest and family, so although I was okay with him jumping on me, I didn't want my friends and family to suffer any longer because of my lack of teaching him it's not okay to jump on people. After I sit in the reminder for about a minute, I then tell myself, "it's important that I do some training today so I don't have to keep my dog on a leash when company is over to prevent him from jumping on them". Notice how I said, "it's important" and not, "I have to do this because...". Just that little change in words is all it takes. Saying something is important gives it meaning and helps me stay consistent with training.

Now, when it comes to discipline, I use "devoted" instead. When I tell myself, "I am devoted to giving my dog a better life and more freedom", it's another reminder of why I decided to start training him not to jump in the first place, and it always makes me think of Olivia Newton-John singing "Hopelessly Devoted To You" and that makes me happy because I love Grease! The point is, use words that work for you.

It's not about forcing yourself to do something, It's about being gentle with yourself and giving your self grace for struggling to do important tasks. Another thing I do is quickly counting down from 5 and once I get to 1, I get up and do the thing I've been putting off. Now this doesn't always work, but it's helpful to have in the toolbox. I've found the less demanding I make a task, the more I want to do it. I always have fun training my dog and for me, it's a mood booster. I love seeing him happy.

Last but not least, I also make sure my needs are met first. If my needs aren't met, none of these are methods I just talked about are as effective. Taking care of myself and making sure I still prioritize myself is probably the most important thing I do. If I'm not regulated, how can I expect myself to properly teach my dog anything? I can't. To do this, I write down my most important needs for my overall health and I do my best to meet those needs daily. On the days I don't meet those needs or prioritize one over another, I remind myself I only had 10, 15, 30 percent to give today and I gave 100% of it.

The more you look at training your dog as a chore, that's all you'll ever see it as. Instead try giving it meaning and remind yourself that your dog also deserves a good life. They're stuck in the house all day while we're out working, the least we can do for them is spend quality time with them without distractions, doing something THEY enjoy. The methods I use to stay consistent with training my dog can be applied to all aspects of your life, not just training your dog.

Lately I've been learning Thai and in less than 3 months I was able to read and write in Thai, which I've been told my native Thai speakers that's impressive. I'm not learning for any particular reason, just because I wanted a hobby that is good for my brain. Although I'm not great at speaking Thai, yet, I do my best to practice every day. I use the same methods I use for training, to remind myself to study. It's not always fun because Thai is a very difficult language to learn, but I feel so accomplished when I can talk to the friends I've made from Thailand and they can understand what I'm saying. If you struggle with exercise, try these methods. It's great being in my 30's and waking up without back pain, and being able to run around with my dog without getting too tired. Making a task less demanding increase your willingness to do it. When you say something is important, you don't have to do it if you don't want to. It's gives you a choice in the matter. The more choice you have in the things you do, the easier it is to stay consistent with those things.

I post a new blog weekly! If you enjoyed this post, don't forget to subscribe below and share with your friends and family! As always, if there's a specific topic you'd like me to discuss let me know in the comments or send me an email. Happy Training!